Monday, August 23, 2010

the pampers project

the girl at the counter looks askance at my pile of items-to-be-purchased.  most of it is unremarkable -- broad beans, malkist crackers, little bottles of vinegar and alcohol (for anti-ear infection wash), big waters, the odd bit of chocolate.  but:  "miss.  pampers, miss."  the girl says it with equal parts emphasis and disbelief.  (translation:  "um, foreign girl.  what the hell are you doing????")  i beam at her.  i have been looking for adult-sized diapers for a while now, and it is excellent luck to have found some, just days before a long bus trip.  "ya, pampers!"  i exclaim.  "saya perlu untuk bis!"  (translation: "yes, pampers!  i need for the bus!")

so many bus rides spent worrying i might end up humiliating myself by getting up from a damp seat.  so many bus rides spent chewing at my chapped lips, feeling my tissues shrivel for lack of moisture, yet not daring to risk more than a throat-wetting sip of water.  so many mornings debating whether to drink the delicious chai/teh tarik/kopi in front of me, or to let my fear of caffeine's diuretic effects take control.

with the adult diaper, now i have control.  at least, in the sense that i have created a safe place for me to lose control.  strapping it on gives me a warm, safe feeling.  like strapping on a set of plate armor.  

um, a set of plate armor for a man thrice my size ...  

6 comments:

  1. *blink*

    *blink blink*

    *blink blink blink*

    YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO EXPLAIN MORE WHEN WE TALK ON MONDAY. YOU HAVE BOTH RYAN AND ME CONFUSED.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Saya pakai pampers juga katika sayu berjallan dallam Indonesia. sooo cute

    ReplyDelete
  3. trust rokstars to cum up with somthing like this.
    anyway to the moto;
    ONE DAY WE WILL FIND JONATHAN BRANDIS,ALIVE!
    sighned
    ~mozenrath0is0just0in0hiding0pal ; )

    ReplyDelete
  4. Did you really wear adult diapers under your clothes on a bus??

    ReplyDelete
  5. There is nothing to be ashamed, diaper are realy convenient in some cases.

    ReplyDelete