(1) show up within about a half hour of opening (5:00 pm). this is critical to beat the line, which snakes all the way down the block anytime when normal people would choose to eat dinner. don't worry; you can always have second dinner at 9:00 or so.
(2) choose from a bewildering assortment of food on sticks and plates. each stick is 90 sen (or .90 ringgit), so load 'em up. they count the sticks and plates afterwards to figure out how much you owe.
(3) sit and chill. a lady will come over, light your table's internal furnace, and plop a bubbling vat of sketchy-looking but divinely-peanutty-smelling brown liquid in the center of the table. another lady will ladle some spices in for good measure. as soon as the stuff starts to blurp and blorp alarmingly, drop (some of) your sticks in there. tip: leave the squid in for 40 seconds exactly for a real texture treat.
(4) make friends! only westerners eat satay celap in lonely sets of one and two, so we got to combine forces. and forget about any notions of cleanliness or dining etiquette that you may have toted with you to melaka. this is one messy meal, so just enjoy the feeling of playing with your boiling spicy peanut soup!
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