late stories: india part 1: train toilet

on the train from varanasi to bodhgaya, i have to pee.  ok, no big deal.  unlike buses, trains at least have toilets, even if they look like this.  i'm not too picky these days -- my definition of "dirty" has radically shifted.  so i woozily make my way to the toilet part of the cart ... woozy because i'm running a little bit of a fever right about now, and we're saving cash by traveling sleeper class, which means no aircon, so i'm semi-pleasantly light-headed.  my business complete, i turn the handle to the door out.

nothing.

i jiggle it.  still nothing.  i work the door gently and cleverly back and forth.  nothing.  i shake the door violently and ... nothing.  i can't imagine how this could have happened.  maybe someone accidentally latched the door from the outside?  side note: i fundamentally disagree with rooms in public places that can be locked from the outside, and not unlocked from the inside.  maybe i am missing something?  i am a little out of it, after all.  but i don't really want to scream for help if there's some totally obvious way to unlock the door.  i have one of those crystalline moments, like: this is my life. and i am trapped in the toilet of an indian train. 

so then i notice that there is a little grate at the bottom of the door.  (i actually took the above picture on the train from bodhgaya to calcutta, but just pretend for a second.)  it's not very big, definitely narrower than shoulder-width, and not too tall.  maybe the size of a computer monitor?  but it is passable.  gross, but also excellent.  i shimmy through.  i verify that i was actually trapped -- the rattle of the train must have shaken the outside latch down over the door.

rejoining tom on the train:  "hey," i say.  "i just got trapped in the bathroom."  "really?"  says tom, looking up from his book.  "yup."  and that's really all there is to say about it.